"The End" are two words I have been longing to say and share for months. But if I'm completely honest it has been more like a couple of years. I have been writing for quite some time now, ten years to be exact.
Writing is something I have enjoyed and is something I have to do, but I have lost more time sabotaging myself into useless thinking by saying things to myself such as:
1- It is a waste of your time writing. You should be doing something more productive
2- No one cares about your books... they probably don't measure up to other books out there
3- You will never get anywhere or ever make any money being an author
4- If you send your work out, you'll be rejected and never accepted, so why bother
The list goes on and on.
But, all of these are things are only my thoughts and not facts. And my brain is inclined to believe what I tell it, so why am I not filling my mind with different thoughts. Positive thoughts. Useful thoughts that will be beneficial to my life. A life of which I only have one.
My whole world has changed since the loss of my mother.
In her last days, she shared with me her deepest thoughts when she was told the news that she would most likely not survive her pneumonia.
"I wasted so much time doing things and worrying about stuff that just didn't matter. I should have spent my time differently. I just want one more chance to make things right and to be a better person."
My mama was the hardest working woman I have ever known. She raised me and my sister and gave us a wonderful life. She was the light of our world and we were hers.
So, I told her I didn't believe she could have been a better person than she had been.
But, it was as if she saw her life in a different way.
And today, because of her, I see mine differently.
What about you? Do you find yourself filling your mind with thoughts not useful to you?
I only wish my mama knew how her words have changed my life. But perhaps, she does.
With all the remaining days my God may bless me, I intend to live each and every one to the fullest and to fill my brain with useful thoughts that will push me forward instead of holding me back. As painful as it was and still is to have lost her, she gave me the gift of a beautiful, new beginning.
Thank you so much for reading!
Cindy